"Not MY Child!"
I try not to be the kind of mother who says "Not MY child!" You know the phrase, I'm sure. It's the one that dismisses the possibility that one of the kids could have done something bad because you feel like you know them better than that and raised them to be better than that. I mean, we spent hours in labor and days without sleep making sure they stay alive, clean, and fed. We also spend what feels like hours trying to teach them to make good decisions and to be self-aware.
Still, I try to remind myself that they are children- human children- who are going to make mistakes and bad decisions despite my best efforts. I use this very fact to try and prevent myself from using those three words.
Last weekend, I had finally had enough with my two year old's stinky breath. For two weeks, the gross, foul smell coming from behind her tiny rose-colored lips seemed to grow and intensify despite a diligent brushing routine.
Frustrated, I consulted Doctor Google. I tend to stay away from WebMD, but I like to read through parenting forums because parents have a tendency to overshare situations like these, and they love to follow up with their results. Most of the results I found didn't seem to be the likely scenario. I clicked on a few pediatric websites... basically the same thing as the parent forums, followed by cavities and sinusitis
Later that evening, while brushing our girls' teeth, I decided to make a closer inspection of Norah's mouth. We had already dealt with decay due to soft enamel genetics that wound up being capped, and I wondered if perhaps there wasn't a dental issue we hadn't noticed causing the horrible smell. Together, my husband and I held her under the light to get a good look at her back teeth. Oh boy, was that decay? I could see some light spots on her very back molars. Ugh, that meant a call to the dentist in the morning.
Thankfully, my coworker had directed me to her pediatric dentist so that I wouldn't have to call the one we had been trying to avoid going back to (a story for another day), and they had an opening for the very first thing Wednesday morning!
Armed with new patient paperwork and a Minnie Mouse stuffie for comfort, bebé girl and I braved the new dentist office. The assistant was super friendly, and made Norah unbelievably comfortable with her surroundings. Some of you know Norah, some of you don't. She isn't very verbal, and she doesn't like being messed with. Her bubble is her bubble and if you make a single move too soon or too fast, it becomes a meltdown of Hiroshima proportions. Because of this, our previous dental office often made us hold her down and worked through screaming and wailing. So you can imagine my wonder and amazement to watch her willingly open her mouth and submit to an inspection and cleaning without a word. Daniel Tiger playing on the ceiling was also a big help. Her good behavior earned her a Minnie Mouse sticker and Mickey & Minnie toothbrush. She was pleased.
I sat almost impatiently, ready for the dentist to tell me that the source of the smell was some awful decay we had missed. Instead, he told me that the source of the smell was most definitely not her teeth, but was probably a sinus infection. Ah, well, at least she had had her yearly cleaning out of the way, now...
On the way home, I logged onto my Ochsner app and scheduled an appointment for the next afternoon, trusting my husband to wrangle the girls himself while the oldest was at school and I was at work.
Today, minutes before I was due to clock out and head home, my husband called the store.
"You're not gonna believe it," he said, with a relieved laugh "She had something stuck up her nose."
I let out a nervous laugh as I felt a mixture of relief and embarrassment wash over me.
You remember when I said I dismissed the results I found in all the parenting forums and pediatric websites because they weren't the likely scenario?
Well, they "weren't the likely scenario" because my immediate reaction was "Not MY child!" The first scenario on every list that popped up had read "Your child may have stuffed something up his or her nose" and so many posts in the parenting forums had proven those words. Yet I had overlooked them and gone on to the other possibilities on the list instead because I just couldn't believe my child would do something so silly.
I let an overconfident parenting reaction prevent me from even considering that my child- my human child- may have made a poor decision to shove something up her nose. This blocked her nasal cavity, which caused the awful smell to begin and build.
Thankfully, her pediatrician was able to remove it with a little effort and my husband was able to positively identify the smell from it. All was well, no harm done.
I came home and have been snuggling my sleeping toddler since, reflecting on the fact that I refused to believe she wouldn't ever stick something up her nose. In all fairness, my older two never did, but that shouldn't have discounted the possibility. She has always made everyone aware that she is her own person with her own funny habits. My guess is she saw Mommy stuff tissue up her nose during a particularly rough allergy day and thought "Hmmm, what could I stick up my nose?"
At least we know she's learning! I'm learning too.
Today's moral of the story is, never immediately dismiss the possibility that your child may have done something. You birthed them, you raised them, but they will still make their own decisions. And they won't all be good ones.
To err is human, right?
Still, I try to remind myself that they are children- human children- who are going to make mistakes and bad decisions despite my best efforts. I use this very fact to try and prevent myself from using those three words.
Last weekend, I had finally had enough with my two year old's stinky breath. For two weeks, the gross, foul smell coming from behind her tiny rose-colored lips seemed to grow and intensify despite a diligent brushing routine.
Frustrated, I consulted Doctor Google. I tend to stay away from WebMD, but I like to read through parenting forums because parents have a tendency to overshare situations like these, and they love to follow up with their results. Most of the results I found didn't seem to be the likely scenario. I clicked on a few pediatric websites... basically the same thing as the parent forums, followed by cavities and sinusitis
Later that evening, while brushing our girls' teeth, I decided to make a closer inspection of Norah's mouth. We had already dealt with decay due to soft enamel genetics that wound up being capped, and I wondered if perhaps there wasn't a dental issue we hadn't noticed causing the horrible smell. Together, my husband and I held her under the light to get a good look at her back teeth. Oh boy, was that decay? I could see some light spots on her very back molars. Ugh, that meant a call to the dentist in the morning.
Thankfully, my coworker had directed me to her pediatric dentist so that I wouldn't have to call the one we had been trying to avoid going back to (a story for another day), and they had an opening for the very first thing Wednesday morning!
Armed with new patient paperwork and a Minnie Mouse stuffie for comfort, bebé girl and I braved the new dentist office. The assistant was super friendly, and made Norah unbelievably comfortable with her surroundings. Some of you know Norah, some of you don't. She isn't very verbal, and she doesn't like being messed with. Her bubble is her bubble and if you make a single move too soon or too fast, it becomes a meltdown of Hiroshima proportions. Because of this, our previous dental office often made us hold her down and worked through screaming and wailing. So you can imagine my wonder and amazement to watch her willingly open her mouth and submit to an inspection and cleaning without a word. Daniel Tiger playing on the ceiling was also a big help. Her good behavior earned her a Minnie Mouse sticker and Mickey & Minnie toothbrush. She was pleased.
I sat almost impatiently, ready for the dentist to tell me that the source of the smell was some awful decay we had missed. Instead, he told me that the source of the smell was most definitely not her teeth, but was probably a sinus infection. Ah, well, at least she had had her yearly cleaning out of the way, now...
On the way home, I logged onto my Ochsner app and scheduled an appointment for the next afternoon, trusting my husband to wrangle the girls himself while the oldest was at school and I was at work.
Today, minutes before I was due to clock out and head home, my husband called the store.
"You're not gonna believe it," he said, with a relieved laugh "She had something stuck up her nose."
I let out a nervous laugh as I felt a mixture of relief and embarrassment wash over me.
You remember when I said I dismissed the results I found in all the parenting forums and pediatric websites because they weren't the likely scenario?
Well, they "weren't the likely scenario" because my immediate reaction was "Not MY child!" The first scenario on every list that popped up had read "Your child may have stuffed something up his or her nose" and so many posts in the parenting forums had proven those words. Yet I had overlooked them and gone on to the other possibilities on the list instead because I just couldn't believe my child would do something so silly.
I let an overconfident parenting reaction prevent me from even considering that my child- my human child- may have made a poor decision to shove something up her nose. This blocked her nasal cavity, which caused the awful smell to begin and build.
Thankfully, her pediatrician was able to remove it with a little effort and my husband was able to positively identify the smell from it. All was well, no harm done.
I came home and have been snuggling my sleeping toddler since, reflecting on the fact that I refused to believe she wouldn't ever stick something up her nose. In all fairness, my older two never did, but that shouldn't have discounted the possibility. She has always made everyone aware that she is her own person with her own funny habits. My guess is she saw Mommy stuff tissue up her nose during a particularly rough allergy day and thought "Hmmm, what could I stick up my nose?"
At least we know she's learning! I'm learning too.
Today's moral of the story is, never immediately dismiss the possibility that your child may have done something. You birthed them, you raised them, but they will still make their own decisions. And they won't all be good ones.
To err is human, right?
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